Djibril Cisse scored within 12 minutes against Aston Villa, showing a poacher’s instinct which QPR have sorely lacked all season.

Djibril Cisse could keep Queens Park Rangers in the Premier League. Jonathan Pearce said he could on the BBC, so it must be true. He has the pace, agility, and goal-scoring prowess to be the perfect foil for Bobby Zamora, and the link up play between the two against Wolverhampton Wanderers was, for all its briefness, rather exciting.

Stupidly, Cisse temporarily mislaid his brain, and received his marching orders for reacting violently to Roger Johnson’s “robust” challenge. Indeed, you might say, it was a rather cowardly act from Cisse. But the £4m man is the answer to our collective prayer, like the metaphorical spring in the arid desert, he could revive our emaciated corpse, and lift Rangers to the heady heights of 16th place.

At first I was afraid, I was petrifi … No, wait, that should read at first I was rather cynical of the Frenchman’s arrival. I saw it as a publicity stunt, the sort of coup that an eastern European dictator in the 1980s might try and pull off as a “regime saver”. He seemed to have lost his spark, which some Liverpool fans may argue Cisse never really possessed. But for a man who has suffered two leg breaks, his persistence and durability is incredible. Like it or not, a transfer to the Premier League is the pinnacle of international football transactions, and Cisse has proved a lot by simply arriving back in the top flight, albeit at a club that based on recent form would have looked out of its depth at Hackney marshes on a Saturday morning. To be a great footballer, possession of pace, incision and a good footballing brain is essential. Cisse lacks none of the aforementioned qualities, and the goal-scoring instinct he demonstrated at a freezing Villa Park a month ago vindicated Hughes’ decision to grant him a return to the promised land.

In terms of goal targets, which in themselves are somewhat crass and actually almost a disincentive to success, we could probably expect Cisse to hit double figures between now and May. However, this relies upon the Frenchman having a proper run in the side, and being played up front with Zamora. The service he will receive is another concern. Far from the sort of service you’d get courtesy of the Archbishop of York, Shaun Wright-Phillips provides the type of service one might expect from a drunken bricklayer in a priests outfit at a suburban public house on a Friday night. Thus, Adel Taarabt must lay the foundations for Cisse to build his metaphorical goal-scoring palace. His task will be to gently begin the foreplay, “grease the wheels” and make the initial incision before the train rumbles on down the tracks, and Cisse can finish the job. Sex and train metaphors aside, the Cisse-Zamora-Taarabt triumvirate has the skill, the experience and the creativity to spearhead a Rangers revival. And just in time too. All hail a Djibril-liant future for the west London side.

Back to Football

Follow the Armchair Pundits on Twitter (@armchairpundit2) or like us on Facebook!